Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
