Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
