Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
