I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
