You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
