so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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