Say something about gay babies.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
