Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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