too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
And then my night got REAL pukey
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
