we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
