I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
