I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
