Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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