Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Houston, we have a blender
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
