Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize
