Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
