Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
