I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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