you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
