If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Randomize
