I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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