i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
