You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I think I sprained my soul last night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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