You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
