ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
