I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
