And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
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We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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