i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
