last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
