guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
