this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
