I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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