I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
