You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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