worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
