I wish I only lived at night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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