I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
