why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
