So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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