Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
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