Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
