worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
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