I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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