I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
