Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize