Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
