drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My dick has a subreddit
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize