She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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