can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
