we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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