Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Randomize
