Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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