Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
