I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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