Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
