yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
