I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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