brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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