He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
