i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
