We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
