A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
send nudes
from the living room?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
