Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
