The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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