I wish I could punch you in the face.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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