Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
