you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
