hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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