I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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