Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
