We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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